Why We Would Rather Not Lose Than Win

Have you ever avoided making a change, not because it was a bad idea, but simply because you were afraid of what you might lose? You are not alone.

There is a name for this — loss aversion. It is something many of us experience, often without realising it.

Back in 1979, psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky discovered that, for most people, the pain of losing feels about twice as strong as the pleasure of gaining. In other words, we are more motivated to avoid loss than to pursue something new. (Source: Quartr | Insights)

It can show up in everyday decisions:

• Staying in a job that feels safe, even if it no longer feels meaningful

• Holding onto familiar routines, even when they no longer serve us

• Turning down new opportunities because uncertainty feels too uncomfortable

At first glance, this might look like a lack of motivation. But often, it is fear — fear of giving something up, even if there is something better ahead.

How this holds us back

Loss aversion can keep us in situations that feel familiar, even when we are no longer growing. The risk of letting go can feel heavier than the possibility of something better. Over time, that fear can quietly keep us stuck and what once felt safe begins to feel limiting.

When we become more aware of this tendency, it becomes easier to pause and ask different questions. Not just “What might I lose?” but also “What might I gain?” or “What might be possible if I take one small step forward?”

Sometimes the smallest shifts in perspective can open the door to something more meaningful.

Here are a few thoughts that may support that process:

• What exactly am I afraid of losing, and why does it matter so much?

• What might change if I focused more on what I value than on what I fear?

• What is one small way I could begin moving forward, without needing to have it all figured out?

Change rarely happens all at once. And fear does not need to disappear for us to move.

Growth often starts with noticing, reflecting and choosing to take a step — even a quiet one — in a new direction.

Because growth does not come from avoiding loss. It comes from moving towards what matters, even when the outcome is uncertain.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What am I holding onto, and what might open up if I chose to let go?

Then gently consider this:

What small step could I take today, not to avoid fear — but to move closer to what I truly want?